Author: Raoji

Should you dive into the stock market? Absolutely. And if you have no money to invest, I recommend getting cash advances against your credit cards. And stop eating, entertaining, and saving for your kids’ educations. Sell your blood if you need to. Put all of that extra money in the stock market. My reasoning is simple: I own stocks and I want you to drive up their prices.

I have a feeling that the smart money is already in the market and those folks are crouching like sprinters, waiting for any sign of bad news. Meanwhile, we are way overdue for some sort of bullshit crisis like the Year 2000 bug, or California going into a death spiral, or an artificial debt limit, or North Korea testing a satellite-based death-ray. When the new fake crisis happens, sometime within the next month, the market will pull back 10%. That’s when I expect to go into a panic and start selling my stocks at a loss.

What the stock market needs – and what I need – is for lots of people who know absolutely nothing about investing to pile into the market and buy broad market ETFs. Then I need those people to poke out their own eyes and caulk their ear holes so they don’t accidentally encounter any news. I don’t think that is too much to ask.

–wrote Scott Adams, Creator of Dilbert